Moving In, Moving On

First day of Orientation

I had so many expectations about what my first day at Union would be like. I dreamed that I would move all of my things in to my immaculate dorm room, my roommate and I would become instant best friends, I would meet and make so many friends using my stellar personality to win them over, I would find a sweet guy, preferably on the hockey team, who would profess his love for me and become my boyfriend, I would dress to the nines for classes every day, and I would not get lost once while on campus. Soon after arriving I realized it is better not to have such ridiculous expectations.

First of all, my dorm room was anything but immaculate. Apparently I was thinking I would be living at the Plaza Hotel my freshman year. This was not the case. I moved into Davidson Hall and came to realize that it was known as the "party dorm" or the dorm that no one truly wants to take up residence in. I went around my room jotting down cracks, holes, and other misc. damage I found, thinking I would eventually give this list to my RA (The list is still sitting on my desk as I type...). The ceiling had holes in it, the cement walls were discolored and lumpy, and my mattress was literally as soft as a bag full of rocks. I was sad, yet not broken. After dolling up my room with all my belongings, I realized that no amount of make-up was going to make this room beautiful. I also realized the seven giant suitcases plus three plastic bins I had brought might have been too much. Complete with my roomates belongings, my room was on overload. I quickly shoved most of my possesions under my bed. Problem solved.

Meeting my roommate for the first time was one of the most nervewracking things for me. I so wanted to get along with her as I knew we were stuck with each other for the rest of the year. Upon first meeting, we were cordial with one another and excited to be on campus, but as for instant best friends, I was quite off. We both had our respective activities to go to, plus we were both clinging to our families like they were about to leave us in war torn Iraq. I was not thrilled with our first meeting and once our parents left and we were alone together, we commenced talking. At first it was a little awkward for me. I've never been the most socially open with people so it took some time for me to warm up to my roomie. Plus I tend to ask ridiculous questions when nervous so that didn't make the situation any better. We definitely did not become best friends at first, but over the course of the first trimester we formed a fantastic friendship that I am glad took time to cultivate.

So...about making a million friends the first day. Like I said, my expectations were way to high as was my confidence in my level of outgoingness. Here I had this image of myself as being a bubbly, super easy to get along with, incredibly open college freshman. Here's the thing: I am 100% all of these things, only problem is that I am only like that with my actual friends. I have to be comfortable in order for the true Adah to emerge. Therefore, when people introduced themselves to me I would smile awkwardly, declare my name, and then quickly look away from the person speaking to me, pretending to be fascinated by a classroom wall. My attempt at starting a conversation was so strange and disjointed that eventually I gave up entirely and vowed to one day get over my irrational fears. Thinking back, I must have come across like a nut job who shouldn't be within ten feet of other humans. Fantastic. So much for making a million and one friends on the first day. Thankfully my phone was fully charged so I could look cool sending out a bunch of texts to all my new friends. No one knew they were all to my mom and dad...Thanks for not blocking my number guys.

And now onto the topic of guys. Walking the campus I made eye contact with a bevy of possibilities. My heart was soaring as I pictured myself with each one of them. The awkward first dates, the adorable strolling and hand holding, and the amazing first kisses. Sadly I was given a wake up call those first few days of school. Men, or should I say boys, are just not as romantic and/or charming as you hope they will be. In fact it is a miracle if they hold the door open for you when entering a building. I also realized that the concept of dating has been completely eradicated from the college campus. This was something that struck me as terribly sad. As for the amazing first kisses, it became painfully obvious that dental hygiene had become outdated since my high school days. I was to have no breath-taking first kisses. Even my dream to date a hockey player was slighted when I came face to face with the truth. These talented athletes are already taken. They will forever be married to hockey, while I could only hope to be second best, a patient mistress. 

The first day of classes I got up super early to primp myself. I spent two hours getting ready, painstakingly picking out the perfect first day outfit, and then stepped out onto campus. By the end of that first day I was completely exhausted, mentally and physically. After completing my homework, showering, and getting ready for bed, it was past midnight. I set an early alarm so that I could wake up to get all dressed up for classes the next day, but the second the alarm went off that next morning I realized that my getting up two hours early just wasn't going to work. I turned off the alarm, slumped back in bed, and happily slept for another hour and half. That was the beginning of the yoga/sweat pants, tee, and a messy bun that quickly became the staple of my everyday life. 

As for not getting lost on campus, I was embarrassed to find that it was quite easy to be led astray on this small campus. Or it was quite easy for me to be. For the first week I had no idea where the Visual Arts building was located even though I had a psychology class there. I had to ask someone everyday of my class as I just could not remember which of the lovely cream colored buildings it was. I even got lost on the way to the gym, suddenly finding myself at Messa Rink wide eyed and throughly confused. Since I refused to carry a map around with me, the ultimate mark of a freshman, I continued to get lost even when studying the map the night before my classes. To this day I still find entrances and hidden staircases that I had no idea existed. 

I cannot express how glad I am that my dreams were not fully realized. This allowed me to truly experience what it is like leaving home for the first time. It can be lonely and at times painful to leave all that one knows, but in the end it is an incredible life changing experience. My dorm room may not have been the nicest place to live in, but it is my own little space on campus. In the end, I am fiercely proud to show it off to my visiting friends as it is my niche that represents my new life. My roomie and I may not have become best friends at first, but over time we grew to form a strong bond that no one else can share. As for meeting new people, it took time and some soul searching for me to find people I really get along with, but many times the good things in life are harder to acquire. On gaining a boyfriend: this idea seems quite silly to me now. Things will happen when they happen and you can not force it. For right now I am content being single and focusing on my own happiness. As for getting dressed up everyday, I realized it really isn't worth losing sleep over. Who cares if your hair is perfectly styled or if you are sporting some extra comfy sweatpants to class? What matters is that you are engaged in class and get enough sleep to do your best work. About getting lost, it's okay! It happens to everyone on a new campus and people will be more than kind when you ask them for directions. Just study your map and eventually it will all sink in. 

 Many things might not have gone the way I would have liked, but I now realize that my life has been made so much more interesting because of it. Union College is not a cookie-cutter kind of place. It is a place for uniqueness to sprout, a place where over planning and high expectations become boring. This is a school where you will be exalted for being yourself and bringing new ideas to the table. I have only been here for a trimester and a half and already I consider myself part of this fantastic community.